By: Brandyn Street, LP

Misbehavior is a normal part of childhood, but it can still be stressful for both parents and kids. To help manage misbehavior, setting clear limits is key.  The A.C.T. method, developed by Dr. Gary Landreth, is a straightforward approach that breaks down limit setting into three easy steps:

Step 1: Acknowledge the feeling:

Start by recognizing and reflecting on your child’s emotions. This supports their feelings without condoning the behavior.

Example: “I can see you’re really angry right now.”

Step 2:Communicate the limit:

Calmly and clearly explain the behavior that is not allowed. Avoid saying “No” or “Stop that” and instead be specific and neutral.

Example: “I’m not for hitting.”

Step 3: Target acceptable alternatives:

Offer a couple of choices that allow your child to express their feelings in a healthy way. This gives them a sense of control and teaches problem-solving.

Example: “You can hit the pillow or rip up this magazine.”

What if the behavior continues?

If your child still doesn’t listen, you can introduce a consequence while giving them a choice:

Example: “If you choose to hit me, you’re choosing to go to your room. If you choose to be gentle, you get to stay on my lap. Which do you choose?”

With patience and consistency, the A.C.T. method can make a real difference. If you’d like guidance or help practicing this method, reach out to a C&FD psychologist or counselor for support!